A MAN OF PEACE: When conflict arose between his herdsmen and those of his nephew LOT (who had amassed his own wealth from “hanging with” his Uncle Abe), he suggested they par ways PEACEFULLY and he let “LANGA” LOT choose the “greener pastures”.
A MAN OF LOYALTY: When Abram heard that Sodom and Gomorrah where L.L. (as in “LANGA” LOT), had settled had been attacked and that said L.L. and his family had been taken captive, what did Abram do? Instead of saying “E SWEET! Ah Shuca ngongolee” and making like sey e no hear “nweng”, he “armed his three hundred and eighteen trained servants who were born in his own house and went in pursuit” and rescued Lot!
A MAN OF HOSPITALITY: Some of us have a hard time hosting even our relatives and friends; how much more STRANGERS? And even for those of us that do, how HAPPY and JOYFUL are we to do it eh? Abraham, apparently, had him no such problem oh! This is a man who was just sitting and taking him small breeze at his tent’s “door mot” one hot middle-eastern aftahnoon when he lifted his eyes and beheld, not 1 or even 2 but 3 men he did NOT know. He sure had the option to make like sey e no see dem, or even sneak back kunya-kunya into his tent, or just stay put and pray that the ‘trangers pass by soffly-soffly, to someone else’s tent. INSTEAD, what did he do? He TANAPPED for up and RAN (as in, Hussein Bolt SPRINTED), inside da desert heat, to meet them, (remember he was 99 years old oh!), and BEGGED them not to pass him by!! AH NGANA!!! And if you think he offered them some small groo-groo (as in corn and grah-nut), you need to hurry back to Genesis 18 and rediscover the MENU – CAKES (home made from scratch by Ma Sarai) and a whole NYAKA, as in, an IYO, NJAMA-NJAMA COW-O)!!
A MAN OF COMPASSION; AN INTERCESSOR: As we all know, after the guests had “chopped flop”, Abraham went to see them off, and it is then that THE LORD decided not to hide from his “man” Abraham, that he was on his way to DESTROY Sodom and Gomorrah. It is at this point that Abraham displayed NEGOTIATING, PLEADING, BARGAINING and HAMBOCK-LIKE-JIGGAH skills that even the most astute of BIG MOP MARKET PRICE BEATERS could never boast of!!!
He started off begging God to spare Sodom if 50 righteous people were found there. God ‘gree!
But did Abraham leff it like dat? Heck NO!
- E say, how for 45 eh? God ‘gree!
- E say, Ekscuze me sah! How for 40, nah? God ‘gree!
- Oga, Tharty, nko? God ‘gree dassoh!
- Tata, No vex, How for 20? God so-so ‘gree!!
Sotaaaay, Abraham las’ for 10!!! And ain’t it SAD and PITIFUL that not even 10 righteous people were found in the entire city???
A MAN OF EXTRAORDINARY, EXEMPLARY, EXTREME OBEDIENCE & FAITH: Okay! FINALLY, ISAAC, the SON promised to Mr. and Mrs. ABRAHAM was born when they were 100 and 90 years old respectively. Chai! Breastfeeding at 90! Ewo-oo!!! (Let me just pass and be continuing my story)
OK. Isaac is born!! All man e heart don glad and then GBAM! GOD says: Take “your ONLY SON Isaac whom you love” and offer him as a BURNT offering”!!! In short: “BACK ME BACK DE PIKIN”!! Just like dat!! HABA!!!!!! It would have been terrible enough if pikin be juss get feevah, meng! But GOD asked ABRAHAM to perform the SACRIFICE, his own self!!! KAI WALAHI!!!
I would have said “NADA! NIET! NON! NO! JA’A EH!!!!” Short and Simple; END OF DISCUSSION! But what did Abraham who loved THE GIVER more than THE GIFT do?
He rose IN DEH SHA-SHARP MORNING oh, saddled his jackass, got 2 young men and his CHOP CHAIR Isaac and prepared to leave. He even had the heart and ngum to get his axe and split the firewood for the sacrifice before they left!
MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION: DID HE TELL MAMMY PIKIN WHAT THIS FAYAWOOD WAKA WAS ALL ABOUT???
(I am sure I am not the only “TIE-LAPPA-FOR-WAIST/ “YOU-GO-KILL-ME-TODAY” MOTHER who believes he did not dare breathe a single “werd” to her!!)
And this was not some short waka oh! It took 3 WHOLE DAYS!!! More than enough time for Abraham to change his mind, hit gear back-back, REVERSE & TIMBA!
Instead, on that 3rd day, he carried aaaaall that firewood and put it on ISAAC’s own head to carry, took the fire and dagger in his own hands and said “OYA!” His poor son actually asked him: “MY FATHER … behold the fire and the wood but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?”
Da mean say eh??? The Bible does not tell us how old Isaac was but, if he was tanga enough to walk 3 days and carry ENOUGH firewood to burn a human being up, he was no infant!! So, when his father was done setting up that altar and still no MBOLI (as in meeh-meeh goat) was in sight, I would have taken to my heels and fled, instead of allowing myself to be BOUND and LAID on that altar!!! Weh-heh-heh! And it looks like e no even halla oh! Because, I am sure that if he had, the 2 men who were asked to stay back and watch de jackass while Abraham and Isaac went “yonder”, would surely have heard the screams and come running, nah?! By de way, if he had had to sacrifice de Isaac true-true, WHAT WOULD HE HAVE TOLD THOSE 2 YOUNG MEN, when he came back to them sans Isaac????
Talk about TESTED and PROVEN FAITH and OBEDIENCE – no questions asked!!!!!! Not the beb-beb stuff we say we have because we “prayed and believed God to pass common entrance”!!
Ah beg, someone needs to compose a propah ABRAHAM SONG, for real!!! ÇAAAAAAAAA!!!